Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Thank You Lord for...courage

THANK YOU LORD for giving me courage. It is amazing to me how God can work so quickly in our lives. Only hours after re-accepting Christ into my life again I headed to Cheesecake Factory to grab lunch and then off to Barnes and Noble for the afternoon. By the way if you have never eaten there I highly recommend it, it is my favorite restaurant! J I bought the book my counselor recommended, “Changes that Heal” and headed upstairs to find a seat. The book is a spiritual one that helps us to understand our past to ensure a healthier future. Did you know that all your relationships as a child with your parents and friends will always have an effect on your current ones? I will have to blog about the book later.

I grabbed a big comfy chair in a group of 4 facing each other. After taking off my shoes (yes I did in Barnes & Noble) I glanced at my neighbors. One was obviously studying for a test, the other on her computer and well the third one caught my eye. She was dressed in mismatched clothes, shoes that were obviously too big for her feet and her arms and head were tucked inside her shirt. She lay there curled up sleeping with her plastic bag beside her. She was HOMELESS! It hit me that she had come where it was comfortable, safe and dry (despite Atlanta was flooding at the moment). While reading I caught myself glancing up at her after every couple of pages. This is when God began to tug at my heart. He was telling me to act, but I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to embarrass her in front of the others sitting so close. I continued to read ignoring my desires until they became so strong I had to make a move. I quietly walked over and whispered into her ear, “Do you need something to eat?” She simply nodded her head yes without saying a word. She followed me downstairs to the small cafĂ© where she looked at me puzzled. I told her to order anything she wanted. Without a second of hesitation she pointed to the club sandwich. Isn’t it amazing that people who aren’t usually given options can make a decision so quickly? We ordered the sandwich along with some Cranberry juice. She introduced herself as Kian and I returned the introduction. I offered to sit with her but she informed me she wanted to go to the music section before leaving. She kept saying “Thank you” over and over and did so at least 5 times before we parted. As I turned to walk away she quietly said “You look like a movie star.” My face instantly lit up and a smile took over sending a warm sensation to my heart. You may be saying that was nice of me and I was able to touch a life, but I look at it completely different. Kian touched my heart that moment and brought life to me when I needed it the most. She was the angel that day! Without God’s courage I wouldn’t have been able to share my faith with a complete stranger or wouldn’t have been reminded of how truly fortunate I am. So ,THANK YOU LORD for giving me courage.

Thank You Lord for... a Second Chance

THANK YOU LORD for giving me a second chance. Recently, I have been dealing with one of the hardest things I have ever dealt with in my life. Last week I cried myself to sleep almost every night, had my first anxiety attack, lost 6 pounds in 5 days because I couldn’t eat, took time off from work because I couldn’t concentrate, saw a counselor, took depression medicine for the first time in my life and continually searched for answers to the point where it consumed over 85% of my daily thoughts. As the counselor diagnosed it, I was experiencing bereavement or aka grieving. On Sunday I realized I was only left with one place to turn….GOD. I knew I couldn’t get through this emotional time without Him and realized the lack of him in my life was probably one contributing factor to the situation in the first place. So, drum roll please….. I’m happy to announce that after spending 4 hours praying and crying, I re-accepted Christ into my life at Northpoint Community Church in Alpharetta. A big thank you to Ms. Joann and Ms. Michelle for talking with me, praying with me and guiding me through the entire process. You were definitely angels sent from above.

If you know me at all you are probably confused at this point. You might be asking how I can re-accept him into my life. Or you might even react as my friend Mike did, “But you already had him in your life and you are already a religious person.” Well, the answer is yes I did re-accept him and Mike is right about him already being in my life. Christ has actually been a part of my life since childhood but let me explain…

We all drive down the road we call life. Christ has been in my car for quite a while now. I sometimes even let Him sit beside me in the front passenger seat. When I reach a destination point He is most usually praised for helping me navigate or for helping me make good time. When difficult conditions occur on the road I don’t have a problem handing the wheel right over. I mean who wants to drive in snow or rain when you aren’t familiar with those conditions. Occasionally, I even make Him sit in the back passenger seat, relying fully on the confidence that I know how to drive without His help at all. The fact of the matter is… Christ has never been the owner of the car. I have relied on my own experiences, confidence, and guidance to reach destinations and steer my way through life. After hitting a dead end road last week I turned off my car, unbuckled the seatbelt and slowly opened the door making way for Him. We can drive all day long on our road of life but what we fail to ask ourselves is where we are truly going. I have decided that without a map or clear path we continue to drive in circles, take dead end roads, try to cross bridges that aren’t stable and much more. So I am proud to say that God is now at the wheel of my car and will be my personal GPS from here on out. I know it won’t always be easy being a passenger in the back seat when I’ve been the driver for so long. And I’m sure at times I will even ask for it back, but I have made the decision to give it to Him and this is only the first step. I’m now ready to sit back, enjoy the scenery and His choice of stops along the way . If one thing is clear, I have never felt so much pressure and weight lifted off my shoulders. For once I am not in control, HE is. I’m looking forward to the ride to sharing my journey with you. So, THANK YOU LORD for giving me a second chance!

"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’' Isaiah 41:10